I have been thinking for a while I should probably say something about why I have been less active since the start of all of this insanity we are now living. Not making as many social media posts, not emailing potential clients nor teachers either. In reality, I hit a wall.
I think we all deal with trauma differently. And yes, I compare working from home and not hugging my loved ones to trauma. EvConFITNESS has been a side project for me for nearly 3 years. One that I truly love, that I have passion in connection through wellness, but the problem was just that – I stand behind Connection.
I was on the phone one afternoon with a fellow event services entrepreneur and I confided that I had lost my gumption, my motivation and my procrastination had taken over. See, she is an event services entrepreneur who was reinventing her services to be successful in the time of virtual meetings. The meeting I run in my 9-to-5 life had cancelled due to COVID. Friends and acquaintances would be losing their jobs or furloughed due to these decisions that event organizers were forced to make all over the world. I can’t explain the amount of guilt I had that rode on the coattails of my procrastination for continuing on with my side business. And then I felt guilty for feeling guilty. This peer of mine informed me these are all side effects of PTSD: procrastination, guilt, loss of motivation and drive.
It is really hard to explain as someone who still had a job, but not much to do, that I had any reason to believe I had PTSD. But then I looked around me, I wasn’t alone. Mothers and fathers trying to navigate school at home, but still having school, friends losing part time jobs they had for fun, but lifestyle not changing because of the income of their partners, colleagues who did not have a full plate, but wanted so desperately to be proactive and productive.
We all suffered a form of PTSD. And when I understood this analogy and explanation, I exhaled. I stopped pressuring myself to get out there and market my business. I did not have an industry that could support wellness at their events right now, when they were trying to survive and keeping up their own personal wellness. So I came up with a plan.
I decided to share my truth with you for going silent, so you can share your truth with yourself on why you are doing what you are doing to cope. Instead of offering proposals for future events, I offered free online yoga for event professionals as a new way to connect. I did not charge for these classes, I had no intention to do that, for the purpose was connection with my peers. And connect, and breathe, and move and laugh we did. And after two months of this with 3 online classes a week, I stopped. Because if I have learned anything during this time, and as a yoga teacher, as a friend, as an aunt, as a sister, and as a human, we have to stop when we need to stop and we have to go quiet.
But I’m feeling that push again and to try harder again. I have that desire to keep going, to market this concept that I truly believe in, and I will do it by looking forward into the future of face to face events and look at what is next for connection.
So as we say in yoga, I’ll see you on your mat. And as we say in events, I’ll see you on the show floor.